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NCIS and First Time Blogger’s Remorse

Our Thanksgiving Day was sweet! Although I cooked, what my wife did was sweeter still. She was so aware of the presence of the Lord’s peace in our hearts and home, she put an extra setting at the table in case the Lord wanted to join us.

Oh, I thought that, too. Wondered if Jesus ever had great Thanksgiving Day turkey. Then, Pilgrim, I thought about it again and remembered the time when the Lord appeared to Abraham in Genesis 18. He has had turkey alright, probably appeared at Plymouth in 1621.

I have to go back to the night before Thanksgiving in order for the title of this post to make any sense. My wife was tired and had gone to bed. I was so elated after my first post, I wasn’t ready for sleep yet. So, I turned on an NCIS rerun.

A word about NCIS. You see, I never watched it when it first came out. I’m Army; NCIS is Navy, so what’s to watch! Our favorite TV detective has been “Poirot.” But when we lived in that one room hotel room, you had to turn on the TV to muffle the noise all around you. You could choose between sports and sports, or so it seemed. We had to leave Poirot’s stunning art deco world of 1936 behind. Then we found a new escape portal. NCIS reruns. But watching reruns is like playing Russian roulette. They show any year, any show, any cast, any order, or better said, random. We would be watching and say, “Didn’t she get killed a few weeks ago?” or “Which NCIS Director is this?”

Here is the point. I watched this episode all the way to the end wondering what Gibbs was going to do. Then boom! The credits rolled. No, it was to be continued. It was the first part of a two part series. I quickly checked the next 10 episodes on 2 channels. You miss the first two minutes and the rest of the show makes no sense. How is this going to end? I’ll never know.

Then it really hit me. The outcome of this NCIS episode is an unknown; just like my life. I don’t know what’s next. I’m 65 and unemployed. The full weight of my unemployment hit me. Out of nowhere, Gibbs slapped me on the back of the head. I felt like DiNozzo, only worse.

On top of that, I came down with first time blogger’s remorse. Why on earth did I start writing this thing? I’ve always been good at “invisible”. What am I doing?

Then my Jewish whining gene kicked in. “Lord, I can’t afford to die or quit work. Didn’t you send us out here? Should we have stayed in Indiana? We can sell the house if you want; we can move anywhere. Selling is one thing; losing the house is another. You promised me. But, what if? Father, I’m tired of looking for jobs I really don’t want! Where did my dreams go? I’m not sure what they are anymore? Isn’t our first HOA payment due soon?”

It is my memory that fails, not his. It is my faith that falters; not his, for He is faithful. God is good. This verse reminds me that the Lord will finish the work he has started in me: being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6 NIV84)

And don’t forget Ephesians 3:20-21. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (NKJV)

Another long post, I know. Cut me some slack here. When you are originally from NJ, it is hard to be brief. I’ll shoot for shorter posts here and there. Not quite yet. I believe the Lord has many great things ahead. The Lord God is on the move on our behalf.

Categories: Commentary


Poet, Writer, US Army (Retired)

I dreamed of writing when I was a youngster. The love of books and writing may have helped to dull the pain of severe sexual abuse as I was sexually abused by two men at my father’s place of work from age 8 to 12 or so. I learned about this for the first time when I was 50 years old. So, as a boy, reading was the only place I had to go to. My fantasy world was better and safer than my real world. I loved reading and writing.
Reading books and writing poetry are a joy to me still and are an important part of my life. (See my About Me page on my blog for the complete profile.)

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