I have too many things on my to-do list,
so I deleted a bunch, things I just won’t
get to today or ever. Why do I have one?
How did it get to be 11:45? I’m good at
minutia. The big things on the list I
wanted to have done by now smirk at me.
I was going to pray. I don’t like to work
at my laptop in my robe. What if the UPS
man comes? Probably doesn’t matter. Drop,
ring, and run; gone before I can get to
I cleaned up and dressed for my walk.
Sitting here instead. I forgot to take my
vitamins and now it’s lunch time.
Didn’t pray, didn’t walk. Didn’t anything.
I’m so scattered today! No it’s worse
than I thought. I can barely function.
I was vulnerable yesterday. So my wife
told me this morning. She saw it happen;
I was unaware. Looks like years of
Band-Aids are falling off.
A temporary fix is still a temporary fix.
The word of God is cutting through to the
bone like never before. Well, I do have
feelings after all. Worse, someone else
My bones are showing.
My discomfort will only be for a season,
for this is a form of counsel that heals
and closes all wounds, leaving no scars.
Memories without the pain of abuse.
It appears that I may be human after all.
It’s beginning to sink in. When I was
sexually abused all those years, it
wasn’t God’s fault. Nor was it mine.
When I pray today, it will be different.
There is comfort in knowing that God
loves me down to the bone.
Poet, Writer, US Army (Retired)
I dreamed of writing when I was a youngster. The love of books and writing may have helped to dull the pain of severe sexual abuse as I was sexually abused by two men at my father’s place of work from age 8 to 12 or so. I learned about this for the first time when I was 50 years old. So, as a boy, reading was the only place I had to go to. My fantasy world was better and safer than my real world. I loved reading and writing.
Reading books and writing poetry are a joy to me still and are an important part of my life. (See my About Me page on my blog for the complete profile.)