Linux was like a light flickering in a dark room.
You know it is going to go out; it is just a matter
of when. I wasn’t going to wait. As soon as I
got our daily brew going, I moved my old HP to
the top of the file cabinet. That is as far as my
cord will reach from the Wi-Fi extender in the
hallway. My plan to completely move over to
the dark side was about to begin. I was back
in Windows 10 Pro before I finished my second
cup of coffee. Bagel again. Then a concentrated
admin attack on all things not Microsoft. I was
serious this time. No going back, because I
changed my pertinent email to Hotmail. Nothing
Google on my PC. So serious in fact, when she
asked me if I was going to have lunch and I said
it was too early for me, I didn’t notice that my PC
clock was set for some bogus time zone and
was off. My fingers were flying on the keyboard.
I didn’t eat lunch until two. I hadn’t written a thing
all day. I managed to do admin all day. Now, I’m
suffering from an overload of PC admin that has
turned into regret. I can’t go back! Not again.
Lunch wasn’t my usual. I was off. Lunch was off.
I had Ramen soup, just the noodles and broth.
And a peanut butter and jelly on wheat with two
thin slices of Pepper Jack cheese. (Darn, it just
hit me. I missed my espresso window again. It
is closing in on dinner.) We’re both tired today.
More than usual. She woke up every half hour
with nightmares about Department Q. Except
it was her Ex that put a needle in her neck.
You got it. She woke up; so, I woke up. Rough
night. I feel like a brick today going through
the motions of living. What did I do? You see
if you change your email, you are stuck, unless
you want to change them all back. I already
pushed my luck getting on to the Social Security
site without problems once today. Not going
there again. I changed Army email, Netflix, bank;
you name it, I changed it. (And WordPress.)
Dark outside. A little sky still showing behind the
shadow of a house across the street. My signal
to end this for today. (I just happened to move
my hand off of the keyboard to the far left. PC
is running hot.) I still have my five Windows 7
backup disks I made when I bought this HP.
No. Not another computer thought for today.
Well, I succeeded in filling my day with garbage,
instead of my head. No room for troubled thoughts
today. I tried to ignore the pain. (I wanted to get a
manicure, but I cut my nails so I could type faster.)
Admin typing; no writing except what you are reading.
Like in the book of Ruth, God wasn’t visible or vocal,
but silently working in the background while I was
exhibiting computer paranoia.
He is still going to heal me. He works when you don’t.
Not to worry. God is faithful even when my mind is
Poet, Writer, US Army (Retired)
I dreamed of writing when I was a youngster. The love of books and writing may have helped to dull the pain of severe sexual abuse as I was sexually abused by two men at my father’s place of work from age 8 to 12 or so. I learned about this for the first time when I was 50 years old. So, as a boy, reading was the only place I had to go to. My fantasy world was better and safer than my real world. I loved reading and writing.
Reading books and writing poetry are a joy to me still and are an important part of my life. (See my About Me page on my blog for the complete profile.)