I have to apologize for yesterday’s rant.
The doc wasn’t doing anything wrong.
As it turns out, the form with scary text
is a Medicare requirement. So she said,
“Sign and file is all.” I signed it. The doc
was amazing. Brain MRI and Nerve Test
are next. You know that FMS from 1984;
the doc says the diagnosis was wrong.
And he explained why. Makes sense.
After we chatted for an hour for my initial
appointment and he rubber hammered
me and poked me with needles all over,
he said there is some neuropathy going
on! A sign of hope, a sign of resolution
ahead. He studied my history and wants
to study more and get all the prior test
results and input. I’ll see him again in
March after this new series of tests.
I was so hopeful when I left his office, I
turned up Tina Charles in the car louder
than normal (for me). The bass was
making the doors shake! Then I went
to my EMDR session. Moving ahead
there as well. I celebrated this small
glimmer of hope with chicken fried
rice on my way back home. Read my
book on World War II. I get tired of my
war; nice to read about other wars
other than my own. She called me to
tell me she is going from work to other
meetings and will be home late. Looks
like I’ll catch up on Dark Matter. She
loved going back to our old coffee this
morning. Maxwell House is it! She was
in heaven. Works for me. Cheap Chinese
was late; so dinner for me will be popcorn
and Netflix. I’m always amazed that no
matter how down I am, God sneaks in a
little hope along the way. I’m so tired of
pain. I don’t think I’ve had a good night’s
sleep since 1983! Good things are on the
way. Maybe good sleep; maybe healing.
Poet, Writer, US Army (Retired)
I dreamed of writing when I was a youngster. The love of books and writing may have helped to dull the pain of severe sexual abuse as I was sexually abused by two men at my father’s place of work from age 8 to 12 or so. I learned about this for the first time when I was 50 years old. So, as a boy, reading was the only place I had to go to. My fantasy world was better and safer than my real world. I loved reading and writing.
Reading books and writing poetry are a joy to me still and are an important part of my life. (See my About Me page on my blog for the complete profile.)