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Without Fear


I went down
high school
memory lane
this week for
a pending
EMDR session.

I thumbed
through my
three yearbooks.

Sixty-two was
not as bumpy
as I thought it
was.

I transferred in
that year. It
came and went.

Can’t remember
much with class
photos the size
of a postage
stamp.

Sixty-three was
better than I
thought.

Her entry was
touching, really
cute. I found
her but couldn’t
remember much.

Looks like we
were going
steady at the
end of my
junior year.

I know we
broke up, but
why?

I wasn’t myself.

I mean,
I didn’t know
then what I
know now.

If I screwed up,
it was probably
me, not you.

Anyway, my life
was complicated
and I didn’t know
it then. (Blocked
child abuse works
that way. Sorry.)

Sixty-four was a
surprise. Aside
from the fact
that home life
sucked and I
was afraid of my
own shadow, it
wasn’t that bad.

Did I write in her
yearbook? Do you
think she’ll read
this?

Sadly, I’ve never
gone back. Some
things we don’t
get to do or do
again.

Don’t know why.
Was it fear that
kept me away?

But this surprise
trip down memory
lane has shown
me that I can
chose to remember
differently and

without fear.

Categories: Poetry

Tagged as:

alslaff

Poet, Writer, US Army (Retired)

I dreamed of writing when I was a youngster. The love of books and writing may have helped to dull the pain of severe sexual abuse as I was sexually abused by two men at my father’s place of work from age 8 to 12 or so. I learned about this for the first time when I was 50 years old. So, as a boy, reading was the only place I had to go to. My fantasy world was better and safer than my real world. I loved reading and writing.
Reading books and writing poetry are a joy to me still and are an important part of my life. (See my About Me page on my blog for the complete profile.)

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