I had half-written a few haiku
but it wasn’t enough. The issue
was bigger than that.
The electronic and analog parts
of me were on a collision course
for a few days. Maybe weeks.
Frustration over my bullet
journal clouded my mind and
hindered my task progress. Yes,
another war with myself. No ink
or blood spilled. I’ve managed
about thirty or so repeating
tasks electronically for ages.
But translating them into analog
has been a nightmare for me.
That issue cast a shadow on my
lunch. I continued to read my
Michener book. Got to page 526.
Another two inches to read; I
guess I’m about half way. Today
is one of those days when I feel
like I’m “half-way” with most
everything in my life; no forward
movement detected. Michener
didn’t help. This part of his book
was reflecting on rabbinical law
as it took shape in the early part
of the 4th Century. The endless
discussions about dos and don’ts
of the Mishnah and the Gemara
that formed the Talmud. (When
left to our own devices, why do we
choose law over grace? Simple
answer: For the same reasons we
choose death over life.) For over
a week, I’ve been content to eat
about the same thing for lunch
everyday. But today I was rattled.
Letting this small issue of my life
get to me. So, my lunch was
equally unsettled. I made a third
of a pot of strong coffee instead of
mild tea. I had two sandwiches
instead of one. One slice of bologna
each. Yellow mustard instead of
Dijon. No cheese. I was hungry and
wanted an uncomplicated lunch.
Nothing in the way. I grabbed the
last four green olives as well. I
didn’t want to fight with radishes
today. Two olives per sandwich was
fine. Coffee with a little less sugar
and cream than normal. No cookies
today. “God’s grace is sufficient,”
came to mind. So it is. I brought my
journal in but read through my lunch
instead. Why didn’t I think of God’s
grace while I’ve been fighting with
myself about how to better control
a small fragment of my life? Why?
Because I’m flesh and blood. Because
there is a natural attraction that we
all have that desires the law (which
ends in death). Grace is God’s
unmerited favor that ends in life.
Well, “ends” isn’t the right word here
because the gift of God’s grace doesn’t
end. Christ’s death ends in life eternal.
(How did I get here today? How do I
get back?) Bullet journal, electronic,
or both? We are constantly faced with
choices. Even when we think we have
no choices left, we still have choices.
There are always choices. No one can
choose for us even if we think that is
not so. Looks like I won’t solve my
bullet journal dilemma today. More
importantly, one more time I get to
choose—choose to reject the
philosophy of humankind, choose God’s
grace over law, and choose eternal
life over death. Your turn. She just got
home. Some choices are easier than
others. Like our choice for Taco Tuesday.