Odds and Ends No. 52

Installing the new kitchen faucet wasn’t
the hard part. Removing the old faucet
that came with the house, built in 2002,

was a killer! You don’t believe in heaven
or hell? How about demons? How about
an old oozing nasty copper and plastic

15 year old faucet from hell

faucet with me on one end and all
hell pulling on the other end? I was
breathing hard and sweating away

under the sink when I heard a question
faintly in the distance. Hard to hear
from the abyss under the sink.

“How are you doing?”

I was on my back. The small wrench
fell out of my hand and bounced off
of my desk lamp that I was using

as a light source under the sink. It
was dark and I couldn’t see. But I
could hear the drip of water from

somewhere. I grunted and groaned;
and my answer was less than loving,
“How do you think I’m doing?”

A drip turning into a slow flow. But
I already turned the hot and cold water
off. The RO system, too. I was looking

at a closed cold water valve oozing
water when I heard something about,
“…leaving to run errands.” (Oops, that

will be my next repair!) I put a mixing
bowl under the leak and a fresh light
bulb in my desk lamp. Again on my

back, I stared up at the fifteen-year-old
fittings. Three nuts to take off were
staring back at me. They were almost

out of sight; certainly out of reach. My
back and everything else was killing me.
I took the left door off and put a garden

kneeling pad under me. I was staring at
the ancient fasteners causing me grief
listening to the drip, drip, drip turn into

a continuous run. Then it hit me! Maybe
I won’t have to call a plumber after all.
Sometime in the last century, I bought

one of those use-once-and-forget-
about-it tools. Did I still have it? Can
I remember what it looks like? I had

more tools when we lived in Indiana.
Before the move here. My tool box
sits on the garage floor between the

A gift from heaven

wall and my left rear tire. I opened the
garage door so I could get to it. I took
out the top tray and there it was. A gift

from heaven. See there is a God.
I had to play with it a bit to remember
how to grab the nut and turn it! (Oops!

time to change mixing bowls.)
Then under the sink again on my
back. I started to unscrew the large main

center nut down four inches of threading
little by little in this close space. As I
struggled working the tool, I wondered,

“Did she leave before or after I brought
in the long-handled tree trimming sheers?”
Would you believe it? It took me an hour

or so to clean out under the sink, move
part of the RO system out of the way, and
remove the demon faucet. (Aw, c’mon,

Fourth of July faucet

you know what I mean! Look under your
own kitchen sink!) But it only took twenty
minutes to put in the new one!

Heck of a way to spend the Fourth of July!

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