My Solitude

Am I lonely, in love, or both?
I’ve always been alone, but
not lonely until you.

I can feel the quiet getting
louder. The air starts to mix
and move in anticipation.

I’m trying to feel the memory
of your breath close to me, to
feel your lips a breath away.

It seems that our love like the
memory of your breath, so
uniquely fresh and sweet was

frozen in a vacuum of time until
now because I wasn’t able—in my
youth, abuse stole love from me.

My whole life I’ve been standing
alone in a crowd waiting for the
train that would never come.

But the power and sweetness of
your love is like the rush of a NYC
subway train barreling through.

An express train passing by that
doesn’t stop, shaking my solitude
letting me know that I have loved

and been loved after all.

Loneliness in Four Haiku

have you ever looked
at a painting and wanted
to melt into it

walk with her in that
field in eighteen ninety-eight
or sit with some friends

you don’t have lunching
at a Parisian café
circa nineteen ten

but that was their time
not mine so I hope and wait
for my time to come


Lunch in Kraków

Only the cup of hot tea remained
after a simple meal of two sausages,
sauerkraut, with mustard and a

piece of farmer’s bread. I sat where
I normally sit. Alone at the end of
the kitchen table. As I ate, I was

flipping pages reading about
Moses, Joshua, Philip, and Paul,
which reminded me of meditation

earlier today that took me to a city
I’d never seen filled with beautiful
churches and old world charm.

This amazing city beckoned me as
did my last few sips of tea. When I
spoke, they understood; when they

spoke, I understood. I felt like I was
dressed simply in black and white.
As I drank my tea here, it felt like

I was there admiring St. Mary’s
Church and watching people as they
walked about the square. I took a

last sip and stood up to clear the
table, shaking my head wondering
who would believe such a story?

I lunched in Kraków from here.

Simply Time

This space
isn’t big
enough to

tell you
about the
hopes and

dreams that
didn’t happen
and the hopes

and dreams
yet to come.
There is only

one difference
between the
hopes and

dreams of the
young and
the hopes and

dreams of the
old. If you are
are a dreamer

like me you
know that the
difference is

simply time

Odds and Ends No. 61

My stomach made it clear from the get go
today that it would be a hot tea day. Sweet
with creamer, no milk; food to the light

and non-spicy side. So far so good. Having
spent most of the afternoon working on
my Vietnam book, my eyes need a break

and another cup of tea sounds great. (Be
back in a few…) Progress on the book is
slow, but it is really starting to look and

read like a real good book. Why am I here
today? Good question. After a few haiku in
a row, I thought it best to talk about other

stuff. I was supposed to go in to get a flu
shot today, but they ran out of vaccine, so
I rescheduled for next week. (I said I’d be

back, but I didn’t go make the tea yet. Now
is good.) Brewing as we speak! Sometimes,
I don’t want strong; this is one of those

times. Lipton for four minutes works for me
today. I love powdered creamer in hot tea;
more so than in coffee. It takes less for tea.

Dinner will be light, so maybe a cookie or
two (or three) will go nicely. I’m sitting here
nodding my approval as I think I deserve

a treat today. (First treat all week.) If you
aren’t nice to yourself, you won’t be nice
to anyone else, don’t you know. Lovely cup

of tea. Crunched the three cookies but I’m
only down a third in the mug. Not a problem.
Sipping and day dreaming is good. So, as I

sit here, I’m wondering if I’ll ever get to
walk El Camino de Santiago, or if I’ll ever
be able to visit or move to Israel. Fact is I

have a history of my dreams and reality not
matching up. That is okay. I’m thankful for
the things I got to do. I’m not going to

regret the things I didn’t get to do or the
things I failed at. I look forward to what
lies beyond this lovely cup of tea.