life and love
have not been
fair to us
this was love
but once and
never again
none like this
the agony of
love lost is
pure pain
an agony of
the heart that
time and tears
will not assuage
because all
heaven and
earth know
that like my love
for you will never
end this love
poem for you
will forever
stay
unfinished
to keep loving
you long after
I’m gone
when I realized
I could not be with a soul
I wanted you still
my arm is around
you in spirit until our
lives touch once again
it is a frail day
for both of us pain does that
miss you more not less
I’m still in Oxford by way of Endeavor
back to Inspector Lewis but not sure
why I’m watching these over and over.
A middle of the week martini is rare for
me as was the salad. It was either that
or throw the lettuce out tomorrow.
The BBC must be part of my grieving
process or some process not sure
at this point.
What could have been a productive
book editing day turned into a so-so
OneNote vs. Evernote shoot out.
Add to that late afternoon thunder
storms and the day was meant to
be weird. The joy of the day was
texting you, loving you by emoji
and laughter that neither of us
could hear, but could feel deep
down inside we miss each other
so very much. Martini, salad,
cheese, and a few crackers with
Lewis and Hathaway where I
found them ten years ago made
me think about where I might
be ten years from now. Then, I
decided that wasn’t a good idea.
When I had a plan the future
went awry. Wrong plan. So, I don’t
have a plan beyond today and the
future remains a mystery. I put my
dishes in the sink and decided it
was far better for me to think of
you; so I smiled as I thought about
what it would be like to touch your
hand or trace your lips with my
finger and how lovely it would be
to linger over coffee with you every
morning for the rest of my life and
talk about anything at all.
being sleepy and
in love with you is like the
sweetest dream come true
I walked straight into a dust
storm ten minutes out and
walked back and that was it
my gear and I were covered
with grit so a shower before
dinner was in order then I had
a sandwich and a jigger of
scotch to watch Endeavor by
my adventure didn’t end there
One Endeavor and one scotch
was my limit so I worked on
my writing notes stuff until I
started to think about you
I was reading notes about
first century Rome and Judea
and the like when I realized that
if we were alive then nothing
would have changed
I would have still been looking
for you and waiting for you to
arrive on the next camel
(gotcha dearest read on when
you stop laughing)
I would have loved you just as
I do now and missed you the
same wanted you the same
only I would have loved you in
the there and then just like I
love you in the here and now
camels or no camels it still
adds up to always
